Thursday, May 8, 2014

Put It Out There... aka Vulnerability

Thoughts (if you just want to know how the art was done,feel free to skip this section)
I've been reading, Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown. It's about what we have to do to be our true authentic selves. It's also about shame and vulnerability which we have to understand in order to dare to be great.  This book is really getting to me.  I think I need to hear what she is saying but I'm finding it a bit painful.  I'm only a few chapters in and I already see how not being able to be the real me hurt my past relationships.  

Part of me wants to crawl in a hole and hide because I feel ashamed that I was not brave enough to stand up for myself and say,"THIS IS THE REAL ME!"  For years I felt like I was not enough or I was too much. I felt like the emotional equivalent of Goldilocks. I wanted to feel just right.

I tried to be what I thought I was suppose to be or what I thought other people wanted me to be... and it didn't work.  I spend years being unhappy and depressed. My worse fear was that I would be alone. After years of trying to be what I thought I was suppose to be in order not to be alone... I ended up alone anyway.  The worse thing that I thought could happened to me did happen and guess what? 

I didn't die.  I didn't curl in a ball and die. I found out that under that scared little girl was a strong big girl. I not only survived but I'm thriving!  Today, as I listen the Brene Brown, I'm saddened because I hide for so many years. It's ok for me to feel sad for a little bit. I can have regrets so long as I don't let them rule my life. I'm hoping that this book will teach me new skills about learning to be the real me and to take chances. 

The Art
The background is yellow because I wanted to finish that bottle of paint sitting on my table. The flowers are made with background paper I bought from The Angel Company years ago. Yea! I used some of my stash.  I used my new favorite stencil (a piece of plastic canvas) and a stencil by Dyan Reaveley. The title was written with a Liquitex paint marker. I really like the angle tip on this marker. 

I used that quote because of Daring Greatly. Brene talks about how innovation and creativity don't grow if we don't take chances.  In my opinion, this is not my best work. That's ok because I tried something a little different. This page has given me experience with using background paper in a different way. I have learned things from doing this page. It is part of my art journey so I'm putting it out there. I won't grow if I don't try new things and have a few pieces that I feel "meh" about. It's important that I tried something different and that I'm brave enough to show it to the world.

Art Journal Everyday

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